What Even Is Gluten?

“Your gluten free tortilla fell apart,” Nik told me as I came into the kitchen. He was making me a breakfast burrito when it ripped apart. Someone had recommended that I try to decrease my intake of inflammatory foods, which can cause bloating and anxiety, among a number of other things. Apparently, inflammatory foods include things like gluten, sugar, caffeine…you know, all the good stuff. So, I’m conducting an experiment to see if decreasing those types of foods make a difference, hence my gluten- free tortillas.

It was no surprise to me to hear that the gluten-free tortilla was structurally problematic because I had made a burrito a few days earlier and the same thing happened to me. At least now I knew for sure they were going to fall apart. I ended up eating my burrito over a plate, using the ripped pieces of tortilla to pinch the fallen innards of my burrito and pop them in my mouth like mini tacos. They taste almost the same as regular tortillas, but with a slightly doughy consistency. The funny thing is, when I Googled more to find out just what the heck gluten is, the first description I came across said that it “acts like a binder, holding food together,” which I thought was pretty spot on considering my burrito deconstructions. Maybe that’s what makes it harder to digest and therefore unhealthier. But on the other hand, the gluten-free sandwich bread I bought was really dense and the slices stuck together. I ripped a couple of holes in them when I tried to peel them apart, but they tasted fine.

While I’m testing out this new food omission, I also bought almond milk, almonds, and a bunch of fruits and veggies. I’ve heard that blueberries are one of the best anti-inflammatory foods, so those got bumped to the top of the list. I think most fruits and veggies are good diet additions or substitutions, probably because when you eat your fruits and veggies first, you are too full or too busy to eat unhealthier stuff (like more processed foods). And, I am proud to report that I have been better about packing a lunch that includes more fruits and veggies. On a side note, I surely hope the sound of crunching carrots was louder in my head than what the people around me could hear.

I’m not yet reaching my daily water quota, but I have been substituting half of my daily Diet Cokes with the caffeine free version, so there’s that. Oh, I also bought mini blue bunny ice cream cones so I could still have a small desert but it’s wisely and conveniently premeasured…I’m not the best at exercising portion control. Yes, I know they have gluten in them, but I’m taking baby steps and I’m not ready to completely give up sugar…or artificial sweeteners.

When I told my daughter I was trying some different healthier foods to see if that helped me feel better, she said I was acting weird. Once I assured her that she could still have her “normal” bread and tortillas, she was perfectly fine with my new experiment. While she wants nothing to do with the gluten-free bread options, she is voluntarily getting more fruits and veggies. Now I just need to find the balance between “buying too many that they go bad” and “running out the next day.”