The Importance of Seat Covers

I have had migraines since I was 8 years old. I think part of it was because of my insanely poor eyesight, but there’s more to it than that. Over the past thirty or so years I’ve figured out most of my migraine triggers: altitude change, barometer pressure, sugar spike, caffeine withdrawal, lack of food, lack of sleep, excessive noise, and – here’s a fun one – hormones. If you’ve never had a migraine, I’m insanely jealous. I used to wonder why other people could take an aspirin and feel fine, but that never worked on me. I later learned it was because while other people have “headaches,” I usually had “migraines.”

There are several types of migraines, but the ones I usually get are the one-sided kind that feel like someone is jack-hammering behind only one of your eyeballs and you’re sure you’d be able to function just fine if you could only remove that piece of your brain until the throbbing goes away. Honestly, it’s the worst pain I’ve ever felt – worse than visiting the dentist, the orthodontist, and childbirth…okay, maybe it’s a tie for that last one.

Most of the time, I can take one of my migraine pills and start feeling better in half an hour. Sometimes, I need to take two pills followed by a nap in a dark, quiet room with a heated eye-mask. On very few and unfortunate occasions, I’ve thrown up (and then taken a nap). And finally, I have visited the ER perhaps three times in the past twenty years when nothing else worked.

What does this have to do with seat covers you might ask? I shall tell you.

About two months ago, I’d been struggling with migraines every morning for a few days. On this particular day, I had taken two doses my medication and was trying to ignore the throbbing, hoping the second pill would eventually kick in. I made sure to eat a small breakfast that included some protein and was sipping water. I had to go to an appointment in the late morning, and spent nearly an hour resting my head on my hand with my eyes closed willing the throbbing to stop. On my way home, I stopped at a convenience store to pick up a chocolate milk for my daughter (I had promised I would pick one up for her) and a small Diet Coke, in case caffeine withdrawal was attributing to my skull being pommeled from the inside. Halfway home while I was on the freeway, I started feeling just…off. My pulse started racing, my breathing became shallow, and I was starting to sweat. But I told myself it was only a few more minutes until I got home and then I could lay down, close my eyes, and pass out. I got off the freeway and was nearly home – just one more light and then I would be outside my neighborhood. I was in the turning lane at a green light, yielded to the right-of-way traffic, and when I got into the intersection…I threw up all over myself. In three heaves. While I was driving. The thoughts that ran through my mind were “God, please don’t let me crash,” “Let me catch all of it in my lap,” and, “If this was happening to someone I didn’t like, I’d be laughing my butt off.”

Two blocks later, I pulled into the center of my driveway at an awkward angle and, thank God, I had the presence of mind to roll the windows down before I turned off the engine – it was late March but it was already in the nineties. I very carefully got out of my car, noting that I had, in fact, caught most of my breakfast on my shirt and jeans, and tried to shake off any excess in the bushes in front of my house…luckily I hadn’t eaten much. I tiptoed into the house and my daughter and father-in-law (who was visiting) were obviously quite shocked to see me covered in ick.

I calmly explained that yes, I was okay, I had just thrown up and I was going to get cleaned up, and yes, my daughter could check on me in ten minutes, but could she please get her chocolate milk from the front passenger seat. I went straight to the laundry room, which is luckily immediately next to my bathroom, and peeled off every item of clothing I was wearing and plopped them directly into the washing machine with a healthy dose of detergent on the heavy-duty cycle before taking my second shower of the day.

My sweet, tender-hearted, ten-year-old child came to check on me only a few minutes later and I told her I felt much better now that I was clean. She even microwaved my eye-mask and got me a fresh cup of water before letting me pass out.

When I finally got up four hours later, my head was no longer throbbing, although I could feel a residual haziness and already couldn’t wait to go back to bed that night. But first, I re-washed all of my clothes just to be sure they were, in fact, clean and yuck-free. Then I grabbed some fabric cleaner, a sponge, a bucket of water, Febreze, (and I don’t remember what else) and got to clean out my car from the morning’s event. While I had contained most of the wreckage on my person, I had to un-soil what I will refer to as the “splash zone” (you know, the steering wheel, dashboard, the seat belt, the area around the gear stick…stuff like that). The best part was that the seats in my car have a small decorative mesh over the material, so stuff can get stuck between the layers of fabric and mesh. I resolved to get my car professionally detailed soon. But then I thought it would be best to wait until the dogs’ grooming appointment, so I could get out all the dog hair, too.

And that, my friends, is why I will now be getting seat covers for my car.