Mini Me

I have created a monster.

Shockingly, she’s very much a “mini me.” Good one, Karma. Sometimes she is much more sweet…other times, she exudes a bit more wit and sass. To be fair, she comes by it honestly through both parents and her sass is always in good-hearted fun. Here are some of my favorite zingers from Zoe (now 13).

***

Me: The people at work think I’m nice but I’ve got them fooled.

Zoe: You are nice. You couldn’t hurt a fly.

Me: Hey, if someone made me really mad, I could do some damage.

Zoe: Keep telling yourself that, Goldilocks.

***

Zoe and I are at the gym. I’m in a sports bra and tank top with stretchy pants.

Zoe: Mom, I can see your bra. Want me to fix that?

Me: No thanks. I really don’t care what I look like at the gym.

Zoe: You really should.

***

Me, freshly showered with air-dried hair that’s now a bit frizzy.

Zoe: Your hair looks like a poodle.

Me: …Thanks.

Zoe: But a pretty poodle.

***

Zoe telling us about a field trip where people read directly from a pamphlet and had her watch a TV screen.

Zoe: Why did they make us do that? It’s obvious we don’t care.

***

Discussing a Zombie-themed Escape Room

Zoe: I thought it was really scary, but then at the same time I wanted to stab a body.

***

Zoe’s cousin starting her first day of a new job.

Zoe: DON’T SUCK!

***

Zoe: Who else would want that?

Me: People like me.

Zoe: I don’t think there’s anyone else like you. You’re a one-of-a-kind wacko!

***

Happy Mother’s Day to all the moms out there and I hope you enjoy your little monsters as much as I enjoy mine!