Appointment Faux-Pas

I’ve been a little behind on the whole “self-care” thing. So, this week I’ve been making appointments for anything I’ve been neglecting. Thursday, I had an appointment for a dental cleaning at 8am – nice and early to force me to be productive right out of the gate. My hygienist was a different gal than I normally see, and while she prepped for the process, we chit-chatted a bit about family, books, and the craziness that is COVID. She seemed like a person I could totally be friends with.

Anywho. I have a tendency to get very tense in the dentist chair, so I remind myself to take deep breaths and continuously count to eight in my head in Korean (something I picked up in martial arts) while I attempt to unclench my entire body. On the up side, I have never really had any cavities…on the downside, I produce mass amounts of tartar, resulting in the need for my hygienists to spend nearly the entire hour scraping my teeth. That is, until the use of the wonderful little invention called the “ultrasonic scaler” became common practice. Now it’s less of the scrapy-tool and more of the water-thingy.

There I was counting in Korean, hearing my old instructor’s voice in my head, thinking what a great job the hygienist was doing rinsing my mouth and getting the last bits of debris, when she said she was finished rinsing. As soon as she moved her tools out of my mouth, I went to close my lips over the little vacuum-sucky-hose (apparently, it’s called a “saliva ejector”) and accidentally spit some of the water out, spilling it not only down my own face but in her general direction. I had to let the hose-sucky thing finish before I could talk, and we were both apologizing – me for spitting at her, and her for spraying too much water in my mouth. At least we were both laughing and I told her that was the most fun I’d ever had in a dentist chair.

With teeth cleaned and an appointment set for six months later, I walked out of the dentist office and headed next door to the optometrist office. Since I hadn’t taken the time to call them for a check-up – it had been at least two years since I’d had my eyes checked – I thought I would pop right over to make an appointment. I opened their front door and immediately noticed that the inside of the business was dark. I looked at my watch and saw the time was 9:02. I figured the staff was probably just getting started a little late. I could hear an ominous, measured beeping and assumed an employee had probably just arrived and hadn’t punched in the alarm code yet. I said “Hello?” and waited. No answer.

They were probably in the restroom. I remained by the front counter, waiting patiently, the beeping still sounding in the dimness. I saw their fax machine light blinking and light flashing coming from a computer monitor. “Hello?” I said again. Still no response.

Then a louder, harsher alarm sounded. That wasn’t good. I sat down in a chair by the waiting room and looked at my watch. It was now 9:06. I walked outside to look at the front door and there were the office hours: open at 9am… on Mondays, Wednesdays, and Fridays. I looked at my watch. It was Thursday. I looked back at the door. Tuesdays and Thursdays, open from 10am – 6pm. Crap. I had caused the alarm…and sat there as a second alarm had gone off. I tried calling the office number listed on the door and got a recording. Why hadn’t their door been locked? My first thought was that they had automatic locks that were on the wrong schedule.

I walked back to the dentist office next door and greeted the two ladies behind the desk, who I had seen only minutes earlier, with, “Hi again. I have to tell you about something really stupid I did because it kind of affects you.” I then proceeded to tell them how I had unwittingly set off the alarm next door by simply walking in, not realizing until I got inside that the business was dark.

“So, if you see a patrol car pull up, that’s probably why they’re here,” I said.

Luckily, the two ladies started laughing and thanked me for telling them what happened. They even offered me a bottle of water and teased me for being a rebel. I did happen to be wearing a Mockingjay T-shirt. Coincidence?

After a successful morning of teeth cleaning and alarm alerting, I got in my car and drove away. Shortly before 11am – when the optometry office was, in fact, open – I called them to make an appointment. Having the conscience of a cricket, I also said, “And by the way, I’m really sorry, but I’m the one who set off your alarm this morning.” Yet again, I explained what had happened. She laughed and thanked me for telling her because she couldn’t figure out what had happened with her alarm that morning. I was very glad she had such a good sense of humor…either that or she is plotting her revenge and I’m going to get poked in the eye when I return for my appointment. Also next week: my first mammogram…yeah, that will be fun.

Original Post 09/2020