Accepting Imperfection

It’s funny that when we think of healthy, we tend to immediately focus on the physical…even though my brain rationally knows there’s more to it than that.

My physical efforts – working out, doing my hundred pushups, taking walks – are progressing ever so slowly All the healthy food choices are a constant battle. I still fill my soda cup with half of the caffeine free version and I try to eat more fruits and veggies (admittedly some days I try harder than others), but the gluten free options are dying a slow death, although I did discover that there’s no gluten in corn tortillas, so I’ve been eating more of those.

Then there’s the mental aspect of health…sigh. My brain is obviously not the heathiest of noggins, as evidenced by my repeated memory lapses…like Dory in Finding Nemo. I have Dory Brain. Or Goldfish Brain, because I hear they have short memories, too. Or maybe its just Fish Brain. Then my stream of consciousness bounces from random topic t random topic with no noticeable transition like a squirrel on speed in traffic (hence how I named my blog Quirky Squirrel). I am a Squirrel-Fish…ironic, because I can’t jump nearly as well as a squirrel nor swim particularly well, but at least I haven’t drowned yet. Anyhoo.

I came to the realization decades ago that I am not perfect, nor will I ever be perfect. But that doesn’t mean on some level I think I should be proficient in more than a few things. I suppose I’m still learning to forgive myself for not drinking 64 ounces of water a day, or being able to run a 10-minute mile without huffing like a wounded walrus…or eating leftovers five days in a row…ignoring a stack of essays to grade…or skipping a blog post and then being three days late on another. They say happiness comes from within and that you must first love yourself. I want to like myself but some days I’m just so darn annoying and want to yell at myself for forgetting about the muffins in the oven or not pushing myself harder at the gym. But some days I’m okay with taking a nap at two o’clock in the afternoon and maybe even a little proud that, not only have I not killed the fruit trees in my backyard, but I even have tiny apples and lemons on them. It all depends on my mood. Some days are just healthier than others, I suppose.